Please Disperse

I hate snakes.

At 11:10am this is what I found in the front garden smiling at me.

Classic Superheroes / Mr T / Rocky mashup

stolen from a post on mc chris’s facebook page.

Movie Rating:  

Has anyone heard of this movie?

“You ‘dis the Fett again and I will cornhole you with a lightsaber”

and for the record, I am now telling people that I am a white Billy Dee Williams.

Continue reading Review: Fanboys

A cozy home for a mouse. I like how all the poop is collected in just one area.

As some of you know, i rode about 400 miles last weekend. Apparently I was carry a few extra pounds of weight, not only on my body but also in my air filter.

A mouse had been camping in my bike for at least the past winter. I can’t wait to get out today to see what a difference the K&N air filter and the lack of seed and poop makes.

Movie Rating:  

Mickey Rourke is great at playing a scumbag.

Diane Lane is so amazingly hot.

A decent action flick with a nice substory about a couple falling back in love.

Not a bad movie. Not outwardly offensive. And I’m always happy to have an excuse to look at Rosario Dawson.

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But Jessica Biel might have the best bottom in Hollywood. If for no reason other than seeing all of her, watch this movie. Jessica Biel and Marisa Tomei, both naked as strippers in one year.

It’s a great story about how the lives of desperate people intersect and how miracles can bring them back from the brink. Ray Liotta, Forrest Whittaker, Lisa Kudrow and Kris Kristoffersen all lend great performances to a very watchable drama.

Due on DVD soon, but on The Pirate Bay now.

We’ve all seen the horrible Olan Mills photos. Here’s a slightly more uncomfortable twist: Awkward Family Photos.

Compiling both found-on-the-net and user-submitted photos that capture kin at their most socially weird, AFP’s from a pair of screenwriter buddies, one of whom claims to’ve “always been a fan of awkwardness”, and proved it up by writing an MTV Movie Award sketch for Tom Cruise. Shame comes in all forms, from the whacked-out matching jumpsuits and leather chaps on two — yes, two — sets of identical twins, to a fam dressed entirely in medieval regalia, including broadsword, to a loving couple in a matching star-spangled tux and miniskirt combo seemingly homemade out of duct tape…either to make an astute political observation about the tenuous ties that bind our society, or because they already pushed wallets as far they could go. There’s also a barrage of unintentional sexuality, including a Christmas-photo-style, dressed-in-blue posse watching their folks smash face while a grandson spread-eagles; a family of six playing spontaneous Twister with Dad seemingly mounting Mom; and two teenage boys with their parents, all in jeans and white buttondowns, straddling an enormous tree limb that looks less like wood and more like…wood.

From Thrillist.com

Movie Rating:  

He’s certainly a complex character. His life is a modern tragedy, and in watching the interviews with him, you can almost hear the voices in his head.

I lived for a couple of years not far from Brownsville, Brooklyn. Tyson grew up in one of the shittiest parts of New York, and it’s no surprise that he is who he is as a result.

I’m not sure how much the film shows what Iron Mike was during the 80s/90s, but it certainly helps him tell his story now that he’s down on his luck. Like the Playboy interview in the 90s, it’s a shocking look at a violent, depressing and truly tragic life.

There are few famous people I wouldn’t want to spend dinner or a drink with. However, I hope to never share the same room with Mike Tyson. He’s still out of control. And terribly frightening.

via ThePirateBay.org to handbrake to the PS3. This was a very dark image. I’m not sure if it’s the encoding or the source material.

downloaded in about three hours. the video quality is fair, not great on the big screen, but surprisingly good. audio, not so much.

wow. watching parts of it now, but i think i’ll still need to experience it in IMAX. maybe i’ll create an exception and go to the theater.

but i love the Nokia plug…

and she probably caught them from Jimmy Kimmel.

I used to think she was sexy because she’s a funny woman. And comediennes really do something for me. I still have a thing for Nicole Sullivan (MadTV, now Family Guy.)

But now, not only is she hairy, but… well, who the hell am I to talk about being fat!

From our friends at The Superficial

Movie Rating:  

Two redeeming qualities of this film:

• Jayma Mays, who reminds me how much I like Anna Farris.
• Survivor’s I Can’t Hold Back (actually, the entire soundtrack, some of the cast, and the better jokes are all typical of the Adam Sandler genre, who’s production company is responsible for producing this turd.)

There are no other reasons to watch this. And even the two listed above are not worth two hours of anyone’s life.

Avoid this piece of shit at all costs. This must be the worst thing to come out of Happy Madison productions ever.

Free, thanks to thepiratebay.org, and not worth the money. Thankfully, I was doing other things while this was on…

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I hadn’t heard anything about this when it came out. I completely missed it coming to theaters. Equally, even though I grew up in New England I had never heard of this story (armored car robbery and apparently a bunch of press about it.)

I’m a big fan of Mark Ruffalo, so this was a welcome find.

Ethan Hawke and Ruffalo play childhood friends Paulie and Brian, who are forced to survive on the tough streets of South Boston through a life of petty thievery. They join a local gang of criminals, but Brian finds it hard to reconcile his work and friendship with his wife, Amanda Peet (smokin’!).

It’s a great story, and Ruffalo conveys the trouble of blue collar addictions and the pressures that face ex cons.

This one’s well worth the money to rent. But I didn’t. I ripped the Blu-Ray version through handbrake. Great video, but audio wasn’t so good in only 2 channels. I need to focus more on how i setup handbrake.

Movie Rating:  

It takes me a while to view films. As many of you know, I refuse to go to the cinema. I’m pretty happy with my home cinema setup, and believe that it provides a better way to see films than a crowded super-megaplex. (although I am a member at the jacob burns film center, and to go there for independent film.) I’ve been watching a lot of films lately, so I thought I’d start writing them up…

Valkyrie was surprisingly good. I didn’t realize how well constructed the casting was: Tom Wilkinson and Eddie Izzard gave great, albeit small, performances, and I feel the Kenneth Branagh ‘carried’ Tom Cruise through this film. I think Cruise is a horrible actor, and this affirmed that he’s entirely one dimensional and about as deep as a puddle of piss. It’s always great to see Bill Nighy, a friend of a friend, delivering his usual awkward (one can imagine him pulling the wings off flies) but solid performance.

In toto, it was a well done film. Historical thrillers run the risk of being either boring the viewer or departing too far from the truth. This seemed to balance the two with mixed commercial success. It’s difficult to present all sides an two hours and a minute, but I felt let down that we couldn’t better understand the motivation of the assassins. Hitler’s comment that Cruise’s character had “sacrificed so much for Germany” and was the “ideal German officer” remind us that the plotters were loyal to Germany, not Hitler, but a bit more emotional background would have delivered a more complete story.

This was a DVD rip from the pirate bay. I ran it through handbrake at 3500kbps and the quality was good. I dumped it on a USB stick and played it through the PS3. This was my first time isolating the audio into all six channels, and it worked, although the audio was a bit bass heavy (Wagner-esque, no?) Of course, when I finished the encoding, I realized there was also a Blu-Ray version, but I didn’t want to wait to download it.

Is that bar to grab onto, or to hook your toes under?

The ConMan provides regular tales of bowel movements and other related and unsavory events. As the geek who always wore a NASA hat in elementary school, I thought I’d add my twist on Connie’s favorite subject: scat.

While trawling the blogosphere this morning I discovered a relatively interesting series of posts by Astronaut Leroy Chiao about life in space. He discusses sex in space, how to brush your teeth, what it smells like in space, et cetera. And of course, he covers using the toilet.

I can’t imagine using a bag to dump in while two other astronauts floated around me just a few feet away. I suppose I could have some fun with it if I had to do it. What I never realized (and as I think about it, it makes a great deal of sense) is that astronauts receive a pre-flight enema. I guess there’s no reason to carry any more weight up there than NASA absolutely must. I missed that scene in Armageddon.

So, I encourage all of you to start your next trip with a pre-departure enema, just like the big boys at NASA do.

from Gizmodo

Filed under the “I Wish I Had More Time” category, I would love to create a dumpster hot tub.

Can you imagine walking outside your apartment to see your neighbor swimming in one of these? Awesome.

Make Magazine

RIP Dom DeLuise. I can’t believe that guy was married. But I really loved watching him and Reynolds crack up in the Cannonball Run outtakes.

Check out Legofesto’s Photostream. They’ve taken G20 and Abu Ghraib scenes and rendered them using Lego as their media.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/legofesto/

enjoy and Rock out with your guac out!

Happy Star Wars Day!

Movie Rating:  

I don’t generally watch films that aren’t rated R, and I watch kids movies even less frequently. But this one was exceptional.

A surprising cast (Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Mackenzie Crook, Martin Landau) and a story I hadn’t heard mention of before made for a very pleasant flick. Cut from the same cloth as The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe and Bridge to Terabithia, this was an entertaining and fantastic children’s film. A solid story, great special effects and a just-believable-enough fantasy premise made this worth paying for.

Netflix streaming via the XBox360.

Movie Rating:  

Edward Norton jumped the shark with this one. His acting is strained and lacks any real emotional depth. Colin Farrell is his usual douchebag self (which comes naturally to him, I’m sure.)

It’s a basic cop story. A good cop, a bad cop, some drunks, some killing. It’s disappointing that they couldn’t do something more original with it.

This was a Netflix streamed video through the XBox360. Decent quality.

Movie Rating:  

This film came incredibly well received (Golden Palm nomination at Cannes, Independent Spirit Award, LAFCA, Austin Film Critics Award ) with a phenomenal cast (Philip Seymour Hoffman, Samantha Morton, Catherine Keener, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Hope Davis, Michelle Williams, Dianne Wiest, Emily Watson) and gave me a headache. I’m sure this was an amazing film. I’m sure that if I had invested the mental energy into understanding the deep, rich story, I would have walked away feeling better about myself and the world around me.

It was too hard to watch. It was too much work. Anyone who pretends to love it after one viewing is either a) lying, b) overly pretentious, or c) crazy.

If you can sit down to watch this on a Saturday night, with a bowl of popcorn and a light spirit, and can last more than thirty minutes, then you’re a better man than I am. Really, it’s hard work.

Netflix streaming to the 360.

Netflix Streaming to the XBox360.

This is content

I picked up some extremely good target ammo this week. Eley ammo is supposed to be some of the best in the world. These guys have won so many gold medals with their ammo that they’ll take your rifle for a week, test it, and build ammo specifically for your rifle.

God willing, I can hit the range this weekend. Weather should be in the 50s.

I just like to shoot squirrels. But this weekend I’m going to drive some tacks.

Apologies, I’m sure most of you have seen it.

http://www.jeepforum.com/forum/showthread.php?t=697033

It snowed yesterday. I shoveled the driveway around 1030am. As I was shoveling, the snow turned to icy rain then freezing rain.

This morning was recycle morning. The trash service picks up cans, plastic and glass.

Last night the plow hit my two big buckets of recycling.

The collision caused many bottles to break.

They broke in the narrow space I left for the car to pass in the morning.

Throughout the night water collected around the shards of glass and broen bottles. That water froze.

This morning as I slid down the steep drive along sheets of black (african american) ice I saw the spilled recycling container. And the broken glass.

I stopped short in a snow pile.

As I walked the the spill and dangerous ice / glass cement I fell on my bottom.

I used a screwdriver and ice scraper to break some of the glass free so the car and I could pass.

I fell again. Then once again.

Wearing a suit and thin leather shoes. At 615. Before the sun could help me.

It was certainly comical. I wore no gloves

And bled

I drove away and wonder how much glass remains tonight and if I will puncture a tire. Or if I don’t have a puncture, if I can make it up the icy hill.

A nice venue. Small. Dark. Reminiscent of an english pub.

But the whole whisper only and frequent shushing gets tired pretty quickly.

Its a bit pretentious considering its a mediocre assortment of belgian brews- good for the northeast but embarassing in belgium.

I really didn’t like being shushed so ofen.

But three nights a week (not tonight) they have free frites with your choice of sauce.

Hello 2009

After a relaxing break around the holidays, its right back into it in 09.

So, oback has hit the white haus (thank god!) and today bloggy and his awesome, bullet proof hair have been given das legislative boot.

I’m chilling in new york’s burp factory. Nutpharm wanted to see it, and letme tell you its far too sedate for the night we had.

More to come when I get to the train in a few hours

oj finally went to jail.

oback barama won the election (as opposed to the last guy who didn’t win).

jamie j from whs killed his self.

and clemens didn’t get what he deserves.

anyway, see you clowns in 2009. 2008 was the year i felt old. 2009 is the year i stop caring that i am old.

DAMN!

(see The ConMan’s post for some context)

watch your back, Juice. and even if you do, i’m sure someone else will too.


Incredible Motorcycle save - Watch more Sports Videos

The patron saint of stupid gun owners.

“I called him and made a few jokes about the situation and his laugh is what I wanted to hear,” Brandon Jacobs said, according to Newsday. “If he didn’t laugh I knew he was going to be down, which he shouldn’t be down. It’s a mistake that happened, something that shouldn’t have happened and that’s that.”

I’m glad he’s laughing about it. If I had been caught with a pistol in Manhattan, I’d be living a scene out of Oz in Riker’s Island.

“I don’t think people understand how good of a person he really is,” fellow receiver Amani Toomer said after catching a 40-yard touchdown pass in the Giants’ victory Sunday. “A good heart. I think he’s a good guy.”

Yes, what a good guy.

I’m off to shoot some squirrels on my lunch break.

It’s good to see that Val Kilmer really does have a sense of humor. I figured he would after making Real Genius and Top Secret! but I knew he had a sense of humor after he appeared as the voice of KITT!

I hadn’t even heard of this SNL episode until recently.

Enjoy (or don’t)

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/snl-top-gun-727-will-ferrell-and-val-kilmer/4289209639

i’m off to switzerland for the week. talk to you soon.

this priest has said that catholics who voted for obama should not receive communion.

he’s rather see the nation completely disappear in financial ruin.

idiot. this guy would have swung the hammer two thousand years ago nailing a hippie liberal into a tree on calvary.

God bless North Carolina
Continue reading god bless the catholic church

Tivo announced today that you can now order a pizza with from your television.

This is for people who are too lazy to pick up a phone (or who have fingers which are too fat to dial a phone) or for those who can’t work the Intertubes.

what the f? can we get any fatter / lazier? i can’t, unless i get a tivo.

Here’s the press release
Continue reading order pizza from your tivo (or: why i need to buy a tivo today)

walking through a shopping plaza parking lot last night, i saw something i’d forgotten about:

cigarette piles

you know these things: dense concentrations of (usually) a specific brand of cigarette butts in a parking lot. they’re left when some idiot dumps out his/her ashtray as they’re getting in/out of the car.

is it so hard to dump it in a trash can?

these are the same people who wish the seat in their car could also be a toilet so they could shit at stop lights.

to me, these things epitomize the cruddiness of smoking. that’s just a pure white trash move.

so, i’ve loved my HP 8710w mobile workstation (a boring name for a notebook computer). i’ve had it since the beginning of the year, and it chugs along very well. it’s heavy, but powerful (just like me). photoshop, premier, video playback, visual studio, vmware, they all chug along nicely. it’s a good laptop, and i love the 17″ screen.

but it really does break my back in airports

knowing that i’ve got some travel coming up, i ordered one of the new 15″ macbook pros. yes, O, i now own my first mac. i’ve had an iphone since the 3g version came out, and i’ve generally liked it. now, i mainly use it for music, as i’m rocking a nokia e71 which i luv

my favorite thing, in the two days i’ve had it, is just how light it is. compared the old old girl, it weighs nothing.

so far, i’ve gotten Spore running on it, and a vmware install with Vista and Ubuntu. both installed quickly and easily. and spore runs like a champ (that’ll keep me entertained on the redeye tonight)

i like it. the magsafe power is cool. i like the keyboard backlighting a lot. the OS is good, but still a little crude.

i hate that i cannot stop it from going to sleep when i shut the lid. that’s my biggest peeve. and that the screen is so damned shiny.

garageband might be the coolest application i’ve ever seen. once you install the 1gb of extra sound files, you can create music using just about any musical instrument imaginable. and Spaces is cool- it’s been in unix and linux forever, why hasn’t microsoft caught on?!

and the multitouch touchpad rocks. you can use up to four fingers for a whole slew of multitouch gestures which do different things, like rearrage windows, scroll and zoom. sexy.

i’ll know more after the flight. wish list:

microsoft visio and project
entourage support for .pst files
more time to figure out the keyboard shortcuts
decent screen resulotion. this thing only has 900 lines of screen resolution- what’s up with that?! with the new graphics processors, i expected something better. that means it doesn’t even do 1080p. strange…

so, i’m a mac user. i’m not a macos user, though. i will continue to live in the windows world for certain apps. but i do like how fast this puppy is

Nearly completely randomly, I’m a finalist in a content being held by Plantronics to redefine “teleworkers” (or someone who routinely works outside the office).

My suggestion, technomad, is one of ten finalists.

Can you please vote for technomad at:

www.plantronics.com/telewho

You can vote once per day (per browser), and I’d be eternally grateful if you helped me win.

Thanks!