ya know, rocky iv isn't THAT bad… 4

while clubber lang was terrible, rocky iv really isn’t that bad a movie. certainly up there with top gun for macho 80s movies. a strong sountrack of good weightlifting / driving songs. (ha! like i lift weights!)

brigitte nielsen’s accent is terrible (did anyone see her on the comedy central roast? bum-clenchingly terrible) but other than the anti-soviet subplot, it’s a pretty good macho movie

the scene of rocky in his black lamborghini (pennsylvania plate SOUTHPAW) is a fantastic example of 80s montages (parodied in Team America: World Police) and recaps well the best of the early Rocky flicks.

I have not seen, and will not see, the final Rocky movie, Rocky Balboa. I’d rather eat my own poo.

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4 thoughts on “ya know, rocky iv isn't THAT bad…

  1. Reply jon Sep 18,2007 15:54

    For the record, there was a Rocky V, which was a terrible movie and should never be mentioned again. Rocky Balboa wasn’t that bad, actually. It also operates under the impression that Rocky V never occurred, which is a good thing.
    Why is it that you Americans think you are so berry berry good, but we Russians are so berry berry bad? Or something like that. Brigite went downhill fast. Mark Gastineau “ruined” her. I miss O using that expression.

  2. Reply jon Sep 18,2007 15:59

    Agree on the soundtrack. Not that bad.
    As for the movie itself, some of the training montages are ridiculous (I think Bill Simmons has commented numerous times on that mountain Rocky climbs in about 10 minutes), and the race on the beach is tehy gay. (Again, see Bill Simmons). No one ever mentions this, but Rocky sparred a total of zero rounds in Rocky IV. Totally unrealistic (he doesn’t in Rocky Balboa, either, but they at least acknowledge this by saying he’s too old and it’ll be counterproductive to do so) in a movie already terribly unrealistic. Whenever I catch IV on cable, I make sure to shut it off prior to the “If you can change, and I can change” cringe-inducing speech at the end.

  3. Reply j Sep 18,2007 16:07

    i just read up on tommy morrison. what a nutcase! (tommy gunn in the-rocky-which-never-happened)

    i didn’t realize he faked his blood tests earlier this year, claiming a false positive!

    he reminds me of brian bosworth somehow. that same lack of a soul, i suppose.

    the beach running thing is made extra gay by the outfits. the classic 70s/early-80s gym gear has become en mode for gay men on parade, making the whole thing even funnier. the hug at the end can (in my twisted imagination) only be appropriately followed by interracial sodomy while waves crash around the churning of oreo-colored man butter.

  4. Reply jon Sep 19,2007 17:12

    I can’t believe my mistake- the gay hug thing is from Rocky III, which, despite that, is a great flick. I went running around the neighborhood the next morning after seeing the movie at a theatre in Milford, I believe. Saw II at the Stadium with my dad and CG and his dad.
    Yes, I can definitely see a Tommy Morrison/Brian Boswoth connection.

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